I see you... everywhere... everywhere I goooo...

DSC00015
Originally uploaded by willious

Perhaps it's the recent rain here in Melbourne (well, obviously so!), but I seem to be seeing a lot of rainbows nowadays. They amaze me. You couldn't stop me swinging my car over where it shouldn't be and snapping a picture.

schlomo will-o...

DSC00010
Originally uploaded by willious

here i am trying to get a picture with a rainbow.. but it must have moved or something, because all I got was a car and some schmo in the forefront. :)

cake take two

cake take two
Originally uploaded by willious

I tried making the cake again soon after, considering I had all the cream and ingredients laying around... and who knows how long it will be again before I make another cake. Well, it was my father's 53rd birthday, so I decided to give him a nice cake for the party. In hindsight, I should have given him the 'cake ewww' (as shown below), because this one was VERY nice. :)

Cake eww...

cake eww
Originally uploaded by willious

This is my first attempt at making a hazelnut meringue cake. Now, as a lesson to all you young aspiring chefs --- you must NEVER get any yolk in the meringue! NEVERrrr! Not a speck! Not at atom nor a molecule! Heed my warning! :)

Something is afoot...

Troy doing CSI
Originally uploaded by willious

Well, here is an update! lol. Huzzah! My boss has gone away to Rhode Island and New York for some science conferences, and Paris for a holiday. And seeing as I've been working so hard of late, she's given me a little time to relax. So I'm sitting at home on a Wednesday afternoon listening to music and contemplating (but not full spirited) doing something more productive. Of course I'll be going in sometimes during the 5 lazy weeks. I have to go in to demonstrate practical classes, and a few other things here and there. If I'm not at work, my friend Kelly gets very bored, so I have to keep her smiling too. :)

Anyway, besides all that, I did recently meet this guy Troy that lives close to me. I see past him wearing face masks and probably being camp, because none of that is important. (Face maks? on a man?! lol. Whatever keeps you young I suppose.)
He's happy, smiles more often than not, and has a squishy body you'd be happy to hug. We first went on a date to a silly doughnut place (that I had to argue with previously because they didn't want to honor a 'free donut' coupon they'd sent out because I was purchasing other items at the same time! Just silly!)

We had some hot chocolate and donuts and talked for a while. I leant in for the kiss as I'm driving him home -- no use dropping him off thinking I only want to be friends -- and it seemed to go off smoothly. Phew. :)

Well, since then I've seen him once more (of which I don't really wish to comment on in any detail.) and will be seeing him again on Friday for dinner at his house. It's just the beginning, but let's see how it goes. :)

William John.

the one on the right is my car...

the one on the right is my car...
Originally uploaded by willious

it does me well, and i always like when someone gets in and says 'god, you keep it so clean'... :) ... well, I do. :)

You know that I'm not that strong...

I really don't post here enough. I apologize. Life gets so busy... but that's not the point of blogs. Somehow you're supposed to work around that. It's here for organization of thoughts. And I don't know what I think about anymore. My PhD sort of takes a lot of that away from me. And then there's the little things in life, like waking up and finding a ding in the car. Which really bugs me, because I haven't had the car that long. Ooh... I'll have to work out how to post an image again!

Sigh. But those are all negative. I turned 23 the other day (July 3rd). The big 2 and 3 next to that. It was a good day. The whole family came to a restaurant called Olmecs, which I adore because it makes great hazelnut-flavored hot chocolate. Mm. It's my staple drink for going out. (For my main meal, I had a steak, btw. it was ok too, I suppose. :)

Oh gifts! My twin sister bought me three seasons of the tv show Family Guy, and mum gave me some nice tops. My other two sisters gave me some aftershave lotions... you know, if it weren't for them, I probably would smell. lol. Well, no, I really wouldn't... now that I've taken a shine to body spray. :) Anyway, besides any point. I also received a $100 fuel card. yay. Now, THAT will come in handy. :)

I used to talk to someone on here who had contacted me a while ago while reading my blog; Tony. Sometimes I end up thinking about him, and I'm always in the wrong. Don't worry, if you're reading this, I don't expect it would be the other way around. I suppose sometimes things just fall apart... I get in moods, everyone does when they're stressed. But I've regretted not talking to you since. I hope you have the nerve to say hello to me again, because I'd like that. I'm still the same person (if that's a good thing)... I don't even know if I'm any wiser, but I'd like to think so. I miss hearing about your neices and nephews, and your funny emails that I should have appreciated more, because you went to a hell of a lot of effort with them. Anyhow, that's said.

Well, it's gotten late and I do have to be up earlier. I'll try and update more promptly ! :)

William John.

Kellys Birthday. :)

2007, March 24th. Kellys Birthday. :)
Originally uploaded by willious.

Well, here is a recent shot of me... this is at my friend Kelly's birthday. I usually don't allow myself to get dragged out of the house, but where the hell is the fun in that? I don't want to be trapped in the house with a trillion germs .. (THEYRE EVERYONE YOU KNOW! AAARRRGH!) hehe. never mind. I'm just being silly. These are some people I met, Candice on the left I've met before... I love her company, she's so enthused by it all. Lindsay is on the right... I'm not sure if I lost him in the beginning when I pointed out that he has a girl name. ;)

Just a little note to say hello...

Dear God,

It has been so long since my last post, but there have always been moments where I wanted to sit on the computer and write away, releasing all this... explosive heartbeating... that is going on inside my chest.

I don't know where to begin... so little and so much has happened... but if I were to examine my life from a Point A a year ago to Point B today, well, I guess I haven't moved an incredible amount. And that scares me a little. I'm 22 years old now. I still reckon I'm a nice guy, but I might be turning into an old man too quickly.

Well, I finally did have a relationship. It started with this guy Sam. He was a little bit older than I was, about four years. But that's not really a drama. He was an art teacher, a fantastic one if you got to see any of his work. If I could work out how, I'd post this cool picture of my he drew when I fell asleep at his flat one day - it's hanging on my wall now. But it was pretty much doomed to fail right from the outset. Yes, I loved to see him, and I love having the company. Oh, the company. But in the end, I wasn't in love with him. Right from the beginning he said those word 'i love you', and now I realize how shallow they can be. Well, from other people. If I said those words (in the order from left to right!), I'd do it wholeheartedly. He even got to meet my Mother. She was right, he was very girly, lol... but I don't even see some of these things at the time. That doesn't matter. Anyway, I thought everything was going alright, until one day I get a message on my phone 'we need to talk', and then that's that. Wow. So sudden.

"Why?" I ask him.
"I just don't feel like it's going anywhere. You were perfect. You are the perfect boyfriend."
I'm pretty emotional. "Well, is there any way we can fix it?"
"No. I'm sorry, no."

Well, there was nothing that I could do but leave. He said he wanted to be friends, but as of this point in time, I haven't received any call from him. He has some of my things and I have a few of his, so I called him to see if he wanted to come and get them, but he said he didn't have the money for petrol, and I haven't spoken to him since. Well, this is life I suppose.

At the current time, I have met this guy Cal. He's everything I could possibly want in my naive little world. He's not perfect, but I don't see that. But I'm not good at this business, and after our first meet - he just moved to Melbourne from Brisbane, and I picked him up to take him to the cemetary when he messaged me one day to let me know those were his plans for the day. lol. Well, he wanted to check out his great grandfather's grave for his Aunt's genealogy studies. Anyway, we couldn't find the grave, so we went out for lunch. Oh dear, none of this sounds good.

I haven't had much luck keeping him interested, and I don't know what to do. He's obviously out of my range - he's 28, self-proclaimingly unemotional and been through the mill a bit. I'm 22 with emotion and I wouldn't know who to ask for directions to the mill. I'm trying to get him to come out with me to the movies, and... truth be told... I'm just exhausted by it all. Nothing seems to go right and I'm ready to just collapse on the pavement, rain beating down.

I guess the question is, why would you dump someone who you thought was perfect? Well, maybe because they're not. Damnit.

William John.

Sometimes stop...

This past week hasn't been easy. Watching my grandfather slip away was very hard, and my family is broken by it. We shared a miracle moment at the end, and we'll always have that... his chance and ours, to say goodbye... sas agapo ... for the last time.

Behind it all, things are ugly. My Mother has three brothers - only one of them was there at the end, while the other two stopped in for 10 minute visits every so often. One of these two uncles had my grandfather's house valuated by the realtors practically the following day, perhaps in need of a quick buck? It's funny that he has so much time now, when there's so much of it to spare. How could you be too busy when your Father's breaths are getting shorter and shorter...? When he no longer squeezes your hand, no matter how hard you shake or squeeze it...?

I think it will be a while before my tear ducts are replenished. Tomorrow is the funeral. I took a few items to remember him by... his hat, with his smell (lol) ... his worry beads - God, how he'd just sit there and play with them, how they defined him. I need only to look at the thick orange beads and I'll think of Papou. I hope he's with my Yaya (grandmother) now... I'm sure of it.

William John.

Sometimes...

My eyes are full of water right now, and it's hard to think. Today my Grandfather had a major stroke and was taken to intensive care. It's so hard seeing someone you love struggling to breathe... to hold on... to pull out the godamn cords that they have stuck everywhere that looked like they were pissing the hell out of him! He can't talk, and half of his body is paralyzed. He can squeeze your hand though. Hard. He's still got some fight left in him, I think. God, he was always so strong. But now he's at the mercy of his surrounds... an oxygen mask... catheter... aargh! I hope my sister makes it down from Queensland in time to see him. They always bonded so well after her car accident. He sat by her bedside everyday. I am going to miss him so much.

"How's the heart, papou?" I'd say. It was part of our routine. (Papou is grandfather in Greek).
He'd look up at me and smile. "Ohhh... about fifty-fifty... sometimes start... sometimes stop..."

I best get some sleep. Like I said, my eyes are water-filled, and I can't think.

William John.