A slow-motion world...

I am William John... just a simple guy that is going through the issues of life. And god how I wish I had a different life. Each night I go to bed with that thought. Wishing and hoping for more. Not in a greedy way... no, damnit. Just... err... isn't there more...?

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Sometimes...

My eyes are full of water right now, and it's hard to think. Today my Grandfather had a major stroke and was taken to intensive care. It's so hard seeing someone you love struggling to breathe... to hold on... to pull out the godamn cords that they have stuck everywhere that looked like they were pissing the hell out of him! He can't talk, and half of his body is paralyzed. He can squeeze your hand though. Hard. He's still got some fight left in him, I think. God, he was always so strong. But now he's at the mercy of his surrounds... an oxygen mask... catheter... aargh! I hope my sister makes it down from Queensland in time to see him. They always bonded so well after her car accident. He sat by her bedside everyday. I am going to miss him so much.

"How's the heart, papou?" I'd say. It was part of our routine. (Papou is grandfather in Greek).
He'd look up at me and smile. "Ohhh... about fifty-fifty... sometimes start... sometimes stop..."

I best get some sleep. Like I said, my eyes are water-filled, and I can't think.

William John.