The Chickengate Drumstick Scandal...

Two days ago I awoke to find a note on the kitchen bench from one of my housemates, Kendall, letting me know that the fridge stinks, and that the offending odor, by her expert analyses, was coming from some chicken drumsticks that I'd thawed just days earlier and some containers of food I'd had in there. So I threw away the containers, but the chicken did not smell at all. So I left it. The next day, the note was amended. "The fridge STILL stinks. If you don't throw away the chicken, WE will." The use of the word we scares me. I think Kendall may have some kind of sybiont being living inside of her. Perhaps a few of them, all with obsessive compulsive disorders of their own.

Anyhow, so I wrote a note back reading that the chicken was not in the fridge very long and that maybe it is the off tomatoes in Kendall's shelf, and also to stop throwing my stuff away.

The same night I notice a full page note there. I glance at it, realize that it's just going to give me a headache, and go to a party instead. (See, I am socializing now! I'll tell you about it later... :)
They are sitting in the room as they expect me to read it. These people are the most immature I have ever had the displeasure to know. Why don't they just summarize it for me in a couple of words?

And here is what that lover-ly note read, word by word...

'
William,

I suggest you have another look. Their are several items of yours clearly off. The chicken was thawed out a week ago, if you knew common food safety you would know, once you use a product you have thawed, the maximum they last is 2 days. "Smell it" - it's off, your eggs are rotten, your sour cream if off and the list goes on. In reference to Kendall's tomatoes - SMELL THEM before naming them, they have no smell. In reference to "Throwing out YOUR STUFF". LOL. Don't you mean the previous tenants stuff. Not one item that we have thrown out has not been was passed it's used by date or empty. So that is just a joke.
'

This letter was obvious written by one of the symbionts... or my other housemate, Jess, an obvious mental cuntface. It is an obvious work of art. A coup de grace of note writing. The girl is the next Loius Pasteur, perhaps. (They don't know who he is... I asked once. They didn't care.). Her insight into the on and off states of foods are remarkable. I especially appreciate her science experiment where she stores her margarine in the pantry. How she throws away items by used by date without knowing anything about them. Baking Soda sure can go off. Whoa, lucky we got rid of that one. Whoo-hoo. Good on you, Loius No. 2.

Are these people for real? I am at home less than 10% of every day, but these two are bitching and moaning like I am leaving vaginal discharge pellets on the toilet seat. And that is a mere impossibility. But if it does occur, I'm sure I'll be receiving a rather insightful note by Louis No. 2. Yay...

William John.